Not My Broken Suitcase, But an Incredible Simulation

Baggage (mis)handlers at various airports across the country have finally managed to totally fuck the locks on my very expensive suitcase due to the constant re-opening and incorrect re-closing of my bag, necessitated by the endless “Security checks” that go on when you travel these days and have to check luggage. It was especially exciting when all of my shit fell out onto the rain-soaked pavement as I got into my cab at LaGuardia. Thanks, assholes.