OK, I understand that Patrick Swayze is practically on death’s doorstep right now from cancer that he brought on himself by smoking. Too bad, you know, because he was really good as Keanu Reeves’ Idol-slash-Adversary in Point Break, and not bad at all in Dirty Dancing. And it’s never an admirable thing to make jokes at the expense of the dying. But still, this tattoo depicting Swayze as half Chippendale’s Dancer, half Centaur, accented by a rainbow ribbon background – which, thank god, is not actually on the body of Patrick Swayze – is just the worst.
A friend just emailed me this and it’s so funny (and true) that I had to share.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
More Rules After the Jump!
Continue reading George Carlin’s New Rules For 2006