Well, Survivor China got off to a roaring start last night and it looks like this season is going to be another good one. I can already see at least a few potential arrogant drama queens ready to make this a very entertaining twelve weeks. First off there’s the Sunday School Teacher who refused to participate in the Buddhist ceremony at the beginning of the show because Jesus would disapprove. Then we have the Professional Poker Player with the huge beer gut (his name is Jean-Robert but I am henceforth calling him “Genre Bear,” because that is how I ‘heard’ his name the first time it was pronounced). And last but not least we can enjoy the spoiled brat antics of the Whiney Anorexia Case from NYC, whom I predict will be the first to go once her tribe loses an immunity challenge. Based on last night’s show, here’s some general observational commentary from the couch.
Skills to Acquire Before You go on Survivor
If I knew I was going to be, literally, stranded in the jungle/wilderness for 39 days with no modern conveniences, little if any food and a necessity to rely 100% on my own wits/ survival skills/ ability to tolerate pretty idiots and hopelessly annoying assholes, I would certainly make sure that I learned how to do the following things:
- MAKE FIRE
- Build a shelter of out materials available in the Island Jungle Wilderness
I have zero sympathy for anyone who hasn’t mastered the above skills before landing at camp.