Obviously, I Need to Talk More About My Feelings

Do you talk too much in your blog?

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2 thoughts on “Obviously, I Need to Talk More About My Feelings

  1. (the following is courtesy of Scott Pakin’s Complaint Generator and not a true reflection of anything real, but it sure is fun to read… love ya, kid)

    As much as some people may disagree with the following observations, I stand firmly by them. Here’s a quick review: Because of Princess Gail Worley’s obsession with Bulverism, her whinges are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to make this world a kinder, gentler place. The only way to destroy Princess Worley’s Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that she would not hesitate to impair the practice of democracy if she felt she could benefit from doing so. Princess Worley is firmly convinced that we should derive moral guidance from her glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented ravings. Her belief is controverted, however, by the weight of the evidence indicating that Princess Worley will sanctify her depravity because she possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses morally crippled cutthroats with inhumane and uncontrollable rage.

    To inform you of the grounds upon which I base my commentaries, I offer the following. My position is that Princess Worley’s encomiasts amount to nothing more than wicked mob bosses riding on the back of a social fungus attacking the body politic. She, in contrast, argues that she could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and Princess Worley. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for her to admit that it’s not the bogeyman that our children need to worry about. It’s Princess Worley. Not only is Princess Worley more incompetent and more jackbooted than any envisaged bogeyman or bugbear, but Princess Worley hates you — yes, you, because you, like me, want to make plans and carry them out.

    If Princess Worley can’t stand the heat, she should get out of the kitchen. Did it ever occur to her that there is no justification on any level whatsoever for her uncongenial witticisms? The answer is not obvious because she receives most of her knowledge from “Libertinism for Dummies”. That’s self-evident, and even Princess Worley would probably agree with me on that. Even so, her reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only impertinent answers, pathetic resolutions to conflicts. Her admirers argue that the bogeyman is going to get us if we don’t agree to her demands. These are the same malicious yobbos who bring this battle to a fever pitch. This is no coincidence; I have a plan to stand up and fight for our heritage, traditions, and values. I call this plan “Operation provide some balance to Princess Worley’s one-sided put-downs”. (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name but that one will do for now.) My plan’s underlying motif is that you should be sure to let me know your ideas about how to deal with Princess Worley. I, for one, am eager to listen to your ideas and I certainly hope that I can grasp their essentials, evaluate their potential, look for flaws, provide suggestions, absorb feedback, suggest improvements, and then put the ideas into effect. Only then can we grant people the freedom to pursue any endeavor they deem fitting to their skills, talent, and interest.

    I feel this way because every time Princess Worley utters or writes a statement that supports priggism — even indirectly — it sends a message that Princess Worley can absorb mana by devouring her nemeses’ brains. I, speaking as someone who is not a brown-nosing, sanctimonious bugger, undoubtedly believe that we mustn’t let her make such statements, partly because there is little question that her soulless gofers take over society’s eyes, ears, mind, and spirit for no better reason than to be above someone on the social ladder, but primarily because there is a problem here. A large, blasphemous, jaundiced problem. If I didn’t sincerely believe that in my effort to uncover her hidden prejudices, I will need to get the facts out in the hope that somebody will do something to solve the problem, then I wouldn’t be writing this letter. Princess Worley believes that embracing a system of snobbism will make everything right with the world. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself, but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Princess Worley and her disagreeable legatees. She is on some sort of thesaurus-fueled rampage. Every sentence Princess Worley writes is filled with needlessly long words like “macracanthrorhynchiasis” and “histomorphologically”. Either she is deliberately trying to confuse us or else she’s secretly scheming to cover up her criminal ineptitude.

    At the risk of belaboring the obvious, Princess Worley likes proposed social programs that besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I’d say that she is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when fickle, apolaustic hermits convince bloody-minded, craven slobs that there is absolutely nothing they can do to better their lot in life besides joining Princess Worley. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that emotionalism is a viable and vital objective for our nation’s educational institutions. And fear of heartless audacious-types like Princess Worley who preach fear and ignorance. Let me end by appealing to our collective sense of humanity: Princess Gail Worley and her associates are social pariahs and should be ostracized.

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