You want to have a special wedding, a meaningful day that’s a true celebration of your relationship, but it can feel like all of the traditions and rules in place are a major constraint on things. If planning a traditional wedding is becoming too stressful, then it can be important to acknowledge that, yes, you can buck those trends. In fact, here are some that you might want to reconsider entirely.

The Traditional White Dress

The white wedding dress has been a tradition going back literally hundreds of years, back to the Victorian age, but it doesn’t have to be a requirement. Brides are embracing non-traditional wedding dresses in both style and color. Choose a dress that reflects your personality, not just tradition. Whether it’s a jumpsuit, a vintage ensemble, or something handmade, your outfit should make you feel radiant and authentically you. Ditching the white dress can be a bold, stylish statement that sets the tone for a wedding that’s truly your own and establishes your identity as the kind of bride you are rather than an idea that came from a picture book.

Real Diamonds Only

One of the traditions that is thankfully fading faster by the day is the pressure to only use mined diamonds, whether it’s in your engagement ring or your wedding ring. Options like a 2.5 carat lab grown diamond are scientifically made of the exact same stuff as “natural” diamond rings mined from the earth, but they’re much less expensive and not so heavily associated with exploitative labor practices. You can get a larger or higher-quality stone without stretching your budget, as well.

Gender Roles Abound

Weddings are often affairs that are locked-in in terms of gender roles, but they don’t have to be. Taking steps like swapping out the surprise proposal for a planned collaborative step together, and inviting anyone you care about to be part of your wedding party, rather than sticking to “bridesmaids” and “best men,” can make it clear that your relationship isn’t all about adhering to traditional gender norms. It can be quite freeing and ensure that you’re able to include the people you love in the capacity that matters to you.

Big, Expensive Guest Lists

Traditional weddings tend to see you inviting everyone from relatives you haven’t seen for decades to your parents’ entire social circles, but modern weddings are getting a lot smaller and, as a result, more personal. A reduced guest list means more meaningful time with loved ones, less stress, and a budget that stretches further. You can splurge on better food, a dream venue, or honeymoon upgrades. What’s more, by keeping your circle small and relegated to the people you care about, you don’t have to worry about your non-traditional wedding ruffling any feathers. The people who are there should be the people who know and like you for who you are.

It’s your wedding, not someone else’s. Don’t let any sense of peer pressure or social adherence stop you from having the day that you want.