“F-I-R-E-D!”

And…another Self-Righteous Blowhard Bites The Dust. I tore myself away from the last five minutes of Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares (BBC version) last night so I could watch Gene Simmons get his arrogant, chauvinistic ass fired on Donald Trump’s latest public travesty, Celebrity Apprentice. I understand that the faux boardroom drama at the end of each episode is supposed to be a total surprise, but I read enough spoilers on various Reality TV blogs to smell it coming.

You can read the recap here, because I can’t really comment on the rest of the episode. I only know that it was great, evil fun for me to see Gene get kicked off Trump Island, but probably really sad for the show’s producers, knowing that now a gazillion Kiss fans will have no reason to watch this shitty program. Anyway, this whole thing reminded me of a hilarious story about Gene Simmons that I just have to share.

My friend Dave is a pretty big deal rock critic legend who has interviewed everybody on the planet and always does an amazing job, because that is the kind of seasoned pro he is. Dave recently conducted an interview with Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley during which Paul participated only via a phone link, as the Star Child apparently does not like to leave his house.

Dave noted that Gene and Paul are so comfortable doing interviews in this manner that they practically go into automatic pilot mode, with Gene fielding one question and Paul taking on the following question, and so on. At one point, while it was Paul’s turn to speak, Dave noticed that Gene was busying himself with some task that involved holding something in his hands. When Dave looked closer, he realized that Gene was . . . balancing his checkbook during the interview! And that, my friend, is a true story.