Ignore your kid’s whining and she’ll go away. Either by wandering off or by Child Services.
I’ve spent my entire adult life hell-bent on avoiding the mental anguish, responsibility and stretch marks brought about by parenthood, and succeeding beautifully at my quest! Hurray for me! But those of you out there who’ve chosen the having kids route may enjoy taking a look at this ridiculously cool website I discovered a few day ago: Really Bad Parenting Advice.
Here’s a fun sample of what you’ll find on this must-see site: Rule #31: Ignore Your Child’s Crying. “Like most normal parents, your goal in life is to minimize how much your children annoy you. This isn’t always easy, because while your kids are miniature versions of you – and you can’t imagine not spending quality hours staring at a smaller, cuter you – there are plenty of times when it’s much more beneficial to simply ignore them. You have a life. You have things to do, like playing the Lottery, watching fishing shows, and spending ridiculous sums of money on purses you can tote your maxed-out credit cards around in.
Early on, the so-called Ferber method taught you to let your baby “cry it out,” which essentially meant displaying to your child that they could count on you to bolt when things got dicey. With this kind of groundwork in place, it’s important for your child to develop a feeling of unease and general palm-sweatiness – knowing that it’s never about him. It’s about you.” Yes! The most fun thing about the website however is looking at the comments from idiots that take it to be a serious advice website. Hi-larious.
Hahaha, good one.
Indeed! I have enough mental anguish, responsibility and stretch marks without adding “breeder” to my duties.