Guitarist Rick Derringer, who wrote and recorded “Rock & Roll Hoochie Koo” – one of my top five favorite songs of all time – turns 62 today, having been born on August 5th in 1947! Derringer (who also played with The McCoys, The Edgar Winter Group, and on a couple of album tracks by the original Alice Cooper band) was such a pretty boy way back in the day (like, seriously: pretty enough to be a girl). Sadly, he’s succumbed to at least one botched face lift in the recent past, giving him that Joan Rivers/Saran Wrap Face look that just does not rock in any way. Why can’t people just age gracefully?
Madonna as She Appeared in the 1985 Movie, Desperately Seeking Susan
“Madonna in 2009 looks like a leather sack stretched tightly over a homemade sculpture of a Velociraptor made out of broken sticks, chicken bones and Terminator parts. But this was not always the case! She used to be a human woman, with soft skin and actual hair and a face and everything. Those days, of course, are long gone; drifting into the thick, smoky haze rising off of the clay pot where she mixed the bat wings and the blood of the innocent in her cursed spell of everlasting life. But you can still catch a glimpse of her, the Madonna that was, in movies like Desperately Seeking Susan. So young! So bad at acting! So what! It’s just nice to be reminded that there was a human being under the exoskeleton of desperation and Skynet Patented Real-Flesh Organic Compound. Even monsters used to have dreams!”
From Gabe’s weekly column over at VideoGum: The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time, which I read religiously.
There can’t possibly be any sane explanation for making yourself look like this. I’m actually speechless.
A picture of the same woman, pre-freakish self-mutilation, can be viewed after the jump.
Continue reading This Woman Has the World’s Biggest Fake Tits