I stopped paying attention to my MySpace page about six months ago (Face Book, baby!) but occasionally I still get the odd “friend request” from a shitty band or porn webcam. So, every few weeks I make a pit stop by the page just to check out who wants to be my “friend.” Today while I was quickly deleting a dozen or so earnest requests from guys with Yahoo instant messenger who claim to love me, aforementioned shitty bands and product salesbots masquerading as humanoids, I accidentally clicked on the page for a website called Headless Historicals, which sells “Commemorative Dolls of the Executed.” So I must say that MySpace is still good for something, because this site is fucked up.

According to their website, “Headless Historicals ™ are reworked dolls that were inspired by people throughout history who died in rather horrible ways. Each doll is dressed according to how they might have appeared during the peak of their success, while their bodies display the manner in which they died.” I wish I was making this up. And from their MySpace page: “Using forensic photographs, written historical accounts, and techniques used for creating horror effects in film, special attention is given to the details of the injuries sustained during the final moments of each character’s life. All of the eyes are glazed over to produce the lack-luster stare of the dead. Torn flesh and deep gashes are shown in all their gory details and for decapitations the severed muscle tissue and bone is visible in the wound.

These dolls are for display purposes only and are certainly not intended for children. Because these dolls were originally obtained from second-hand sources, slight imperfections are normal and often add to the doll’s character considering the nature of these reworkings. We are not affiliated with any doll manufacturer. Headless Historicals are created by artists Garith Pettibone and Shiva Rodriguez.” Awesome.

Lady Jane Grey, Severed Head Included, Sells for $169.99