Are you one of those people who calls in sick to work so you can watch crap-ass Daytime TV? If so, maybe you have seen a talk show called The Doctors, featuring former The Bachelor contestant, Dr. Travis Stork. Long story short, it’s got a panel of “Medical Experts” trying to keep a straight face while discussing “Hot Button” medical topics. I’ve never really watched the show, because I work for a living, but I’ve seen clips of it on You Tube, and here’s my diagnosis: The Doctors is retarded. These guys are complete quacks. A week or so ago they were trying to convince anyone who’s stupid enough to take this show seriously that it is not only actually happening but even possible that women are rampantly inserting tampons soaked with VODKA into their snatch for kicks. Not only is this idea absurd to the point of bordering on urban legend but it’s honestly impossible to do. I mean, unless you’re into fisting yourself or there’s some kind of tiny “tampon shoe horn” type device you’d be using, no way. Today I saw clip on one of the blogs I read regularly where The Doctors are showing you how to properly wipe your ass. I wish I was making this up. What I want to know is who blew a goat to get this show on the air?