I’m a big fan and supporter of Myspace.com. I appreciate getting the love and props from all my friends of varying degrees just as much as anybody on one of these online networking sites. But let’s face cold hard facts: some things are just getting way out of hand around here and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Please, some consideration of the following guidelines is appreciated. When leaving comments on My Myspace Page, please do not leave any of the following:
1. “Thanks for the Add!” These four words get more annoying the more I see them. I enjoy seeing “Thanks for the Add” in my comments section about as much I like finding spam posts from “Texas Hold ‘Em” websites in my guestbook. When did people stop using their imaginations?
How much thought, creativity and caring does it take to write “Thanks for the Add!” in somebody’s comments section? Answer: Zero percent thought, creativity and caring goes into a comment of that caliber. When did it become cool to be dead from the neck up? “Thanks for the Add!” is the Myspace.com equivalent of writing “Have a Nice Summer!” in your best friend’s high school year book. You might as well just write, “I am a lazy retarded cow and I don’t care enough about you to say something meaningful /funny/ interesting/thought provoking here but I’m trying to get my name on enough random people’s pages so I can collect 15,000 friends!!” Jesus god, if you don’t know me well enough to write something personal about our relationship and you don’t have enough creative brain power to say something clever — or to make something up even — then I don’t want you on my page. Just go ahead and delete yourself right now. I mean, Friendster may totally suck now but at least people used to leave comments for me (they were called “testimonials” over there, actually) that were fucking hilarious and took more than two seconds to compose.
2. Flyers for your band, your new album/video, your club night, etc. Flyers will be left up for 24 hours as a courtesy and then deleted. Or maybe deleted immediately, depending on my mood.
3. Racist jokes or jpegs.
4. Anything sporting enough HTML and Flash bullshit to disable/crash the server of an entire Fortune 500 company.
Thank you, drive through.