I received fan mail (pictured above) written with a pen that looks like a lipstick, pictured below. Pink Pen, Pink Ink, Pink Love. Oh, the Pinkness.
Thanks to Chris for the Images!
As much as I love Ringo Starr, everybody knows that the former Beatles’ drummer – despite being one of the wealthiest, most successful and most popular musicians in the history of world – is generally the butt of all Beatles-related jokes. That’s likely due to the widely perpetuated style of humor known as the “Drummer Joke” and the easily-dispelled-but-still-fun myth that the drummer in every band is retarded. We all know that isn’t true, and that the drummer is in fact the most important member of the band. Plus Ringo is actually a bad ass on the kit. So I wonder why Ringo is doing something as lame-o as asking fans not to send him fan mail. Come on Ringo! Everybody who knows anything about The Beatles knows you haven’t signed autographs in 20 years, and nobody who isn’t completely delusional would actually expect to get a reply to a fan letter sent to a former member of The Beatles. So why make a formal announcement? Why act like a douche? Ringo, my tiny Beatle heart just broke a little.
I received this fun letter today from the President of Covenant House, which refers to This Post I composed on New Year’s Eve 2007. Personally, I think it’s completely hilarious given the mean-spiritedness of the post, which calls for the death of people who own car alarms and expresses similar un-PC thoughts and dark desires harbored by me. But hey, Fan Mail is Fan Mail. And getting Fan Mail from a Nun is just awesome!
It’s been traumatic enough for me to handle the fact that CBS couldn’t even get their shit together to air a season of either The Amazing Race or Survivor this summer. That’s just plain lazy. But I realized that summer 2005’s TV programming had hit really hit bottom and stared to dig when I found myself tuning in to the premiere of NBC’s Tommy Lee Goes To College this past Tuesday. I expected to witness a total train wreck, but instead I was oddly compelled to watch back-to-back introductory episodes of Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee’s highly contrived bout with higher education. Honestly, this show reminded me a lot of this reoccurring dream I have, where I’m back in school and it’s one week before final exams. One day I wake up and remember that there’s this math class I’ve somehow forgotten to attend all semester…
So not only am I trying to figure what the fuck I’ve been doing all semester that’s kept me from going to this one class, but I’m in a total panic over how I can possibly make up an entire semester’s worth of homework assignments, take the final and possibly swing an incomplete in the course. Jesus god, what a nightmare.
But Tommy Lee Goes to College, which depicts affable rock n’er do well Lee as a sort of ‘Curious George’ of The University of Nebraska, kept me entertained with just the sheer hilarity of putting a high school drop out in an organic chemistry course that would put me in a coma and expecting him to stay awake. It didn’t hurt that Lee also looked really hot in nearly every scene where he wasn’t wearing some kind of stupid hat. I think I’ll be tuning for the entire 6 week (or however long it runs) season. I mean, hot rock stars are in short supply on TV these days. And Survivor doesn’t start for two more weeks.
The craziest thing about the show, however, is the fact that it induced me to have sex dreams of Tommy Lee all night long. Needless to say, I did not awake in the morning feeling well-rested. Thoughts of jumping Tommy Lee’s hotness continued to distract me at work all the next day and then suddenly I remembered: I have Tommy Lee’s email address. I decided to write him an email:
“Hey Tommy,” I wrote. “I watched your TV show last night (you looked hot) and then I had sex dreams about you all night. HOT!
Ok, rock on.”
Several minutes later I received the following reply from Tommy:
“Hahaha!! Nice!…gotta love those sex dreams!! I’m so pumped dude!!…the NBC show was their highest ratings this summer!!!…Can I get a “FUCK YEAH.”
I love that Tommy called me “Dude.” Anyway, that’s something fun that happened this past week.