1. Dick Cheney being water-boarded
2. Bill O’Reilly being fired by FOX News
3. Anna Wintour quitting Vogue to become a hermit
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Cancelled!
5. Bravo calls next show The Fake Housewives of…
6. Sarah Palin loses her voice
7. Hillary Clinton cracking Kim Jong-Il in the balls
8. Britney Spears takes her meds, meets a nice man, marries, and lives a peaceful life out of the spotlight
9. Adam Sandler never appears in a film again, ever.
10. Brad dumps Angelina to get back with Jen