Is it even necessary to explain why you need to own this shirt? I don’t think so. I bet you’ve got lots of reasons why a shirt that declares Fuck 2020 in bold lettering on a none-more-black shirt (although the shirt is available in your choice of 15 different colors) could be the star of your wardrobe right now! Visit This Link to purchase one for just $19.95!
It’s bad enough that this adorable tiny Pink Octopus Toy designed for an infant crib was thrown out like so much garbage. It’s even worse that it was thrown out on the corner of a busy street (Second Avenue, to be exact) rather than being disposed of properly in a private garbage bin. For fucks sake, New Yorkers, have some respect for your city. Litterbugs are the worst!
Hey, remember when terribly unfunny comedian Jay Leno retired from Late Night TV and passed the torch to Conan O’Brien? And then he took the show back? What huge dick move. This clip of Jimmy Kimmel’s recent appearance on Jay Leno’s crappy “Ratings Poison” talk show has been viral for few days now, but I just had to post it where I can watch it whenever I need a good, hearty, sadistic belly laugh. Today, we are all Jimmy Kimmel! Freedom!
Like some of you out there, my office is closed today in observance of Veteran’s Day, so I have the day off work. Even though I enjoyed the hedonistic pleasure of staying in bed like a sloth until the ungodly hour of 8:30 AM, I am nevertheless using my time off to get some work done; transcribing an interview for an artist bio I have on deck. There are worse ways to spend a quiet weekday at home. At any rate, I wanted to give a shout out to all of the men and women who have served our country through military service. My Dad, who just celebrated his ninetieth birthday last month, is a retired career Marine and a proud Veteran of both World War II and the Korean War. The stories he could tell you would blow your head right off. He is awesome and I am proud that he is my Dad. I am not a fan or supporter of any war, but I support our troops. President Obama, please bring our guys home.
1. Dick Cheney being water-boarded
2. Bill O’Reilly being fired by FOX News
3. Anna Wintour quitting Vogue to become a hermit
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Cancelled!
5. Bravo calls next show The Fake Housewives of…
6. Sarah Palin loses her voice
7. Hillary Clinton cracking Kim Jong-Il in the balls
8. Britney Spears takes her meds, meets a nice man, marries, and lives a peaceful life out of the spotlight
9. Adam Sandler never appears in a film again, ever.
10. Brad dumps Angelina to get back with Jen
Press release and more information after the jump!
My very favorite story about the band Radiohead concerns the time (a few years ago, now) that I emailed their publicist to request a review copy of the band’s new CD. This is a common practice between writers and publicists which shouldn’t have met with any reaction other than, “Sure, what address do we send it to?” But that’s not what happened. Not only did they refuse to send me the disc, they also had the King Kong-sized balls to suggest that I (exact quote) “go buy a copy and help the band sell some records.” Un-fucking-believable. After that exchange, I vowed that I would never never ever ever buy or review a Radiohead CD or support the band in any way. So far, I’ve kept that vow. And it hasn’t exactly been difficult to do, because around the middle of 2001, Radiohead really started to suck wildly.
I have a shameful, embarrassing confession to make: in another life, I watched two entire seasons of American Idol — the one where Fantasia (deservedly) won (I think that was Season 3) and the one where the ridiculously fantastic Bo Bice inexplicably lost to the robotic automaton known as Carrie Underwood. That’s when I decided this program was bullshit and I would never never ever ever watch it again. I have spent this entire season of American Idol openly hating on this show (while watching it sporadically in secret) and having my intense hatred of all that American Idol stands for reaffirmed every time someone with a pulse, like Carly or Syesha, got slammed to the mat while all the judges collectively felated finalist (and let’s face it, he was the “chosen winner” right out of the gate) David Archuleta, the worlds most obvious puppet-boy plant. And I’ve never been a huge fan of AI’s other Season Gazillion finalist, David Cook, because I think the world has enough Scott Stapp-by-Way-of-Chris Daughtry clones. But let’s face it: the guy can fucking sing and seems to have the ability to actually rock.
But anyway, I did end up watching last night’s season finale, the Battle of the Two Davids, while I enjoyed a delicious burger I’d grilled up for my dinner and waited for Hell’s Kitchen to start. Jacob over at Television Without Pity has a full-on righteous recap that is way more hilarious and scathing than anything I could possibly pull out of my ass on such short notice, so I’m going to defer to him, because he said it all.
I hate Daylight Saving Time because it is retarded and fucks up my body clock. There is no reason for the government to play god and fuck with the time like this. Plus: Getting Up in the Dark is the WORST. Furthermore, it is stupid. Thank you.