Is it even necessary to explain why you need to own this shirt? I don’t think so. I bet you’ve got lots of reasons why a shirt that declares Fuck 2020 in bold lettering on a none-more-black shirt (although the shirt is available in your choice of 15 different colors) could be the star of your wardrobe right now! Visit This Link to purchase one for just $19.95!
It’s bad enough that this adorable tiny Pink Octopus Toy designed for an infant crib was thrown out like so much garbage. It’s even worse that it was thrown out on the corner of a busy street (Second Avenue, to be exact) rather than being disposed of properly in a private garbage bin. For fucks sake, New Yorkers, have some respect for your city. Litterbugs are the worst!
Hey, remember when terribly unfunny comedian Jay Leno retired from Late Night TV and passed the torch to Conan O’Brien? And then he took the show back? What huge dick move. This clip of Jimmy Kimmel’s recent appearance on Jay Leno’s crappy “Ratings Poison” talk show has been viral for few days now, but I just had to post it where I can watch it whenever I need a good, hearty, sadistic belly laugh. Today, we are all Jimmy Kimmel! Freedom!
Like some of you out there, my office is closed today in observance of Veteran’s Day, so I have the day off work. Even though I enjoyed the hedonistic pleasure of staying in bed like a sloth until the ungodly hour of 8:30 AM, I am nevertheless using my time off to get some work done; transcribing an interview for an artist bio I have on deck. There are worse ways to spend a quiet weekday at home. At any rate, I wanted to give a shout out to all of the men and women who have served our country through military service. My Dad, who just celebrated his ninetieth birthday last month, is a retired career Marine and a proud Veteran of both World War II and the Korean War. The stories he could tell you would blow your head right off. He is awesome and I am proud that he is my Dad. I am not a fan or supporter of any war, but I support our troops. President Obama, please bring our guys home.
1. Dick Cheney being water-boarded
2. Bill O’Reilly being fired by FOX News
3. Anna Wintour quitting Vogue to become a hermit
4. Jon & Kate Plus 8 Cancelled!
5. Bravo calls next show The Fake Housewives of…
6. Sarah Palin loses her voice
7. Hillary Clinton cracking Kim Jong-Il in the balls
8. Britney Spears takes her meds, meets a nice man, marries, and lives a peaceful life out of the spotlight
9. Adam Sandler never appears in a film again, ever.
10. Brad dumps Angelina to get back with Jen
Personally, I couldn’t give a crap about the Super Bowl. This evening I’ll be watching some Netflix, then Big Love and Flight of the Conchords in a blissfully Football-free wonderland. And I already had a big lunch at Gonzalez Y Gonzalez (hey, $5 Margaritas at the bar!) so I won’t be eating again tonight. But if I were to attend a Superbowl party (say, because I lost a bet) I sure would be happy to see this stadium made of tasty snacks waiting for me to sample. Here’s what’s in it:
1 Pound of Guacamole
15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone
15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines
15 Vienna Sausages
Helmets – 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese
The Goal Posts:
1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post
1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)
1 Pound of Bacon
1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 Bag of Cheetos
1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips
1 Bag of Chex Mix
20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn’t optional. Go buy one.)
TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375
TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285
TOTAL COST: $86.47
TOTAL DELICIOUSNESS: 1 Billion trillion, dude. One billion trillion.
See how to make it at the link below!