1.  Dick Cheney being water-boarded

2.  Bill O’Reilly being fired by FOX News

3.  Anna Wintour quitting Vogue to become a hermit

4.  Jon & Kate Plus 8: Cancelled!

5. Bravo calls next show The Fake Housewives of…

6. Sarah Palin loses her voice

7.  Hillary Clinton cracking Kim Jong-Il in the balls

8.  Britney Spears takes her meds, meets a nice man, marries, and lives a peaceful life out of the spotlight

9. Adam Sandler never appears in a film again, ever

10.  Brad dumps Angelina to get back with Jen