The Worley Gig

I just heard the most hilarious story from a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless to save him from getting his ass kicked for telling me this awesome story! It seems that my friend is out in Pennsylvania this weekend (from his home in LA) with his roommate to attend the wedding of, let’s say “a mutual friend.” Apparently the roommate is not the biggest fan of Barrack Obama. When she spied an “Obama ‘08” sign posted in the yard of a house in the neighborhood where they are staying, she declared “I’m going to go over there and tear that thing down!” What a total bitch right? It’s so typical of conservative blowhards to try and stifle free speech. Anyway, stay with me because this gets really good. The roommate had been gone for some time and people began to speculate on where she was and why it was taking her so long to commit a simple act of irrational vandalism.

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Larry Harmon Poses With the Clown That Made Him Famous

Larry Harmon, better known as one of many actors to portray the frightening, redheaded ‘60s children’s show host Bozo the Clown, has died at age 83. As a kid, I used to watch the original Bozo The Clown show on TV, but that was more because it was the only thing on, as opposed to it being really high quality broadcast entertainment. Bozo was the most ghetto kids’ show ever, but the character still gets bragging rights in the “Entertainment legend” category, even if the show absolutely sucked. And I’m not much of fan of clowns anyway.

I think the happiest moment of my life so far happened when I moved to New York City twenty years ago. Not just because NYC is the Center of the Universe – and that’s where I want to be – but because moving from Southern California meant I could sell my piece of shit car and never drive again! Hurray! But even though I’ve long gone the way of the mass transit whore and my monthly commute is only $83, I’m not really able to enjoy a good, old-fashioned gloating fest. Because when oil prices go up, everything goes to shit. But I like to think positively and look on the bright side of every crappy situation, so I’ve come up with some benefits of high gas prices for your amusement and edification!

1. Less car exhaust spewing into the air means lower pollution and a cleaner planet!
2. Reduced noise from honking horns and dicks that think it’s cool to disturb my quality of life by drag racing up and down 14th street! Read the rest of this entry »

Devo Frontman and Gazillionare Composer Mark Mothersbaugh, with a Toy That Looks Like Him

New Wave pioneers Devo are suing McDonalds over a Happy Meal doll that sports the band’s signature red flower pot hat!

In April, McDonald’s introduced a series of American Idol Happy Meal toys based on a range of music styles, including Disco Dave, Country Clay, Rockin’ Riley and Soulful Selma. Devo’s complaint is that the toy, “New Wave Nigel” is based on the band’s image and that the doll plays a Devo-esque song.

Now I’m a big fan of McDonalds’ delicious food and everything, but copyright infringement is a crime, so I say good for DEVO! Sue the pants off McDonald’s and grab me one of those cute little dolls while you’re at it. Because they’re going to be selling for big bucks on ebay any second now.

“Mmmm, Bacony…”

Find it here, along with other delicious bacon-flavored treats!

Courtesy of OMB Blog!

Wonder Woman Costume from Met Superheroes Exhibit

This weekend was Gay Pride here in NYC, and Geoffrey and I celebrated by having a ridiculously fun Sunday adventure that will heretofore be known as “The Gayest Day Ever.” Just because it sounds more fun that way!

First, I picked up Geoffrey at his apartment and we traveled uptown by train and bus (experiencing excellent Mass Transit Karma) to 5th Avenue and 82nd street, arriving at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Unless you have ADD, you might recall that I have already blogged about the Met at least three times in the past week, because it is so awesome. Our first stop at the Met was to hit the roof garden for my second viewing in three days of the Jeff Koons sculpture exhibit, Koons on the Roof.

Giant Balloon Dog and Me

We spent a few hours in the museum until we became comatose from over-exposure to too much rad art. I highly recommend the Superhero Costume exhibit, which was just insane.

Spidey!

Geoffrey took some great pictures even though you weren’t supposed to, and he kept getting yelled at. Go Geoffrey, you wild rebel you!

Geoffrey and Sacred Heart

More pictures and gay adventuring after the jump!

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My friend Chris down in Satellite Beach, Florida sent me this picture of a drum kit that was designed for him by our mutual pal, Rikki Rockett of Poison. Here’s what Chris had to say about this very awesome pink camouflage kit:

“Seeing as how you’re such a drum enthusiast, I thought I’d attach a photo of my new custom Rockett Drum Works kit. I asked Rikki to create something very outrageous and unique (gay) for me. I think he succeeded!”

Chris isn’t gay, but the fact that he described the drum kit as gay bumps him up a few notiches in my book. I probably should have posted this yesterday in honor of Gay Pride, but I was too busy running all over New York City, having the Gayest Day Ever with Geoffrey. You’ll be reading more about that later, I’m sure.

Last Week was certainly quite far from being the best week of my very long life. Between the stress of my father being on death’s door out in California, the thundering reoccurrence of my chronic jaw pain and the continually-evolving myriad of daily problems afflicting Worley gig.com, resulting apparently from
1. Moving host servers
and
2. Updating to the latest version of Wordpress (Recommendation: Avoid if possible)
It occurred to me off and on during the week how awesome it would be to just go to sleep and never wake up. But of course, I had trouble sleeping as well, compounded by having to get up at 6 AM for my day job. Also, I lost two and a half hours of my life that I’ll never get back watching a completely terrible movie, The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford (I should have guessed from the overlong, pretentious title that it would suck ass). It was just a shitty week in general.
Fortunately, I was distracted from shuffling off this moral coil by a few of life’s simple pleasures.

Tracy and I spent an evening polishing off a bottle of wine and a large bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. And that was fun.

Seeing Dethklok at the Nokia Theater and having a table upstairs so I didn’t get killed by all the moshing idiots.

Drinking a “Balloon Dog” Martini while enjoying the Jeff Koons sculptures and stellar views of Central Park from the roof of the Met.

Eating a steak with my friend Christine.

Spending a couple of hours on the phone with my BFF Sue always readjusts my perspective.

This new CD by LA metal band Blacklist Union, Breakin’ Bread with the Devil, really takes me back to the good old days of lost weekends and dressing up like Nikki Sixx for Halloween!

I enjoyed spending Saturday cleaning The Chickpad.

The sun is out at the moment, and my plan for today includes picking up Geoffrey, heading back uptown to the Met to see the Superhero exhibit, getting delicious Cuban food for dinner and then going to my friend Larry’s birthday party. I don’t think you could ask for a better day than that.

In some states you are no longer able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a “hands free” adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a boom microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot. These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid $0.08 each because he bought in quantity. I tried them out on Erickson, Motorola, Nokia and Verizon phones and they worked perfectly.  Take a look and let me know if you want one, and forward this to anyone you know who may want one!