Munky: I Would Do It

No one who really knows me would ever accidentally accuse me of being a fan of the band Korn. Being a happy and well-adjusted person who does not really enjoy listening to a lot of screaming (exception: anything by Ministry), their music is not really my bag. But my friend Ray Luzier has been Korn’s drummer for about three years, and it’s been at least that long since I’ve seen Ray, since he lives in LA and I live here in NYC. So when Korn’s new record label, the great Roadrunner Records, invited me to attend a listening party for the band’s upcoming CD: Korn III: Remember Who You Are (in stores July 13, 2010), and I heard that not only would Ray be there but that also the catering would be provided by Dos Caminos (such delicious food they have) I decided I could not miss this opportunity to make the scene.

It turned out to be a good call. Ray and I had a nice reunion with ample quality time to catch up before the music started, and the guacamole from Dos Caminos was just as amazing as I remembered it to be, even if there were a few too many jalapenos thrown into the mix. Also, Korn’s new record, well it’s pretty good. I mean, it’s Korn, so there are not really any surprises: it sounds like Korn, all loud and angry and growly and like bombs exploding in your face. Metal! But I also kind of dug it. You can hear real guitars in there and Ray’s drumming is amazing and very different from his days in the David Lee Roth band, that is for sure. How they get his kick drums to sound like cannons going off I just don’t know. But I guess the biggest surprise of the evening, for me, was getting an eyeful of Korn’s guitarist, who is named James Shaffer but who everyone calls Munky. Nicknames! Let me tell you, dreadlocks or no dreadlocks, the dude is fucking hot. We’re talking Chris Cornell-pre-haircut caliber hotness. I wouldn’t want to have to smell his hair, but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers. I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to actually say Hello to Munky, but it’s probably for the best since the only thing I could think of to say to him was “You are so good looking.” And nobody wants to hear that.