Jason Schwartzman, Adrian Brody and Owen Wilson Star in The Darjeeling Limited
Highway robbery at the ticket window be damned, I see a lot of movies in the theater. That’s probably one of the reasons why I can never seem to accumulate more than a dozen films in my Netflix queue at any one time. Because, you know, by the time anything I would want to see gets released on DVD, I’ve already seen it. Continue reading Ten Reasons to See The Darjeeling Limited
“Nothing’s Gonna Change My World…”
Yesterday Nicole and I went to see the new Beatles’ movie musical Across the Universe, which is weak on plot but still highly recommended if you love The Beatles and have a handful of magic mushrooms laying around.
Actor Michael Pitt as Some Guy Pretending to be Kurt Cobain
Next time you’re scouring Netflix for some top rated films to put in your queue, here’s one to avoid at all costs: Last Days – Gus Van Sant’s obtuse, meandering, painfully dull, hypothesized portrait of the final days of the late Kurt Cobain. Gee whiz, this movie is such a stunning piece of cinematic trash that to call it “The Worst Movie Ever in the Universe of All Time” is to perhaps pay it too high of a compliment.
Continue reading Worst…Movie…Ever: Last Days
Best…movie…ever…
Top Ten Awesome Reasons to Love Grindhouse
1. Rose McGowan. I am so gay for Rose McGowan after seeing her in this movie.
2. Freddy Rodriguez. You loved him in Six Feet Under. Now fall in love all over again.
3. Jeff Fahey! Oh my god, when was the last time you saw Jeff Fahey in a movie? I think it was in The Lawn Mower Man about a gazillion years ago. Watch Grindhouse do for Jeff Fahey’s career what Pulp Fiction did for John Travolta.
4. Bruce Willis: I even love Bruce Willis in this movie.
5. Four Words: The Crazy Babysitter Twins.
6. Trailer for Don’t!
7. Trailer for Thanksgiving!
8. Machete: “If you hire him to kill the bad guys, you had better make sure you’re not one of them.”
I LOVE IT!!!!
9. Four Words: Hypodermic Needle Garter Belt.
10. Kurt Russell as Stunt Man Mike! I think the first time I saw Kurt Russell in a film was when I was five years old and my parents took us to see Walt Disney’s The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. Forty years later, Kurt is still kicking big screen ass. Now that’s career longevity!
The Stuff That Nightmares Are Made Of
When you plan a trip to your local movie theater, do you secretly wish to find an arty, foreign language film that manages to combine elements of Through The Looking Glass with Saw, while also giving you a Reader’s Digest condensed peek at life in rural Spain during Franco’s fascist regime? If so, I’m happy to tell you that all of your cinematic fantasies have come true with a film I just saw yesterday call Pan’s Labyrinth. This movie may be about the dark, reality-blurring adventures of a lonely, freaked-out ten year old girl named Ofelia but, trust me, it’s not for children. Unless you’re one of those deranged parents who think it’s appropriate to take your eight year old to see Hostel, in which case, pack up the whole brood!
When you see this Dude, Get Ready for Some Fucked Up Shit to Go Down
My favorite part of Pan’s Labyrinth was when Ofelia drew a door on her bedroom wall with some chalk and pushed her way through to the banquet room of The Pale Man, who she has to sneak by in order to steal, I don’t know, some kind of thing that’s behind a locked compartment. Honestly, I wasn’t paying that close of attention. I was too absorbed in trying to figure out what the fuck was up with this naked, fleshy creature seated before a huge, sumptuous feast with his eyeballs on a plate in front of him. Hardcore!
Pan’s Labyrinth is directed by Guillermo Del Toro, the same guy who did cool films like HellBoy and Chronos, so if you liked those films go see it and then write me an email and let me know how much you think it rocked.