Tag Archives: Sex

Discover Sexy Secrets of The Met On The Unhung Heroes Tour!


Above Graphic and Most Photos By Kat Bentley, Except Where Noted

The Metropolitan Museum of Art has possibly the broadest collection of art in the world; spanning more than 5000 years of objects from across the globe — from the first cities of the ancient world to works being created today. In my 30 years of living in NYC, I’ve visited the museum maybe a hundred times, and I’ve barely even begun to explore its hundreds of galleries. While a dozen new exhibits open at The Met each season, offering no shortage of incentive to plan a visit, what can be really exciting is to discover the hidden works in the museum’s collection that you might otherwise walk right by and never notice. That’s one reason why I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to attend a press preview of a new Met tour called Unhung Heroes of the Metropolitan, offered by the popular Shady Ladies Tours. As you might infer by the cheeky name, Unhung Heroes explores male members in paintings and sculptures across the museum, and it is all kinds of crazy fun!

Penis Oil Vessel Photo By Gail Worley
You May Hear the Story Behind This Penis-Shaped Oil Vessel (Photo By Gail)

Penis Oil Vessel By Kat Bentley

Expertly guided by Professor Andrew Lear, the founder of Shady Ladies Tours, the Unhung Heroes tour explores the naughty side of classic artworks, and considers burning questions such as:

Are the members in these artworks true to life size?

Were men really smaller back then?

Why are many of the statues’ missing body parts?

Is there hidden phallic symbolism in your favorite painting?

For museum-goers who’ve lost sleep over these and other questions, this tour will school you beyond your wildest dreams. As a leading scholar on the history of sexuality, Andrew Lear is one of the foremost authorities on the erotic in Greek and Roman art. Beyond his historical knowledge, Professor Lear is completely hilarious and has tons of amazing stories that will keep you fully engaged, laughing and entertained over the 90-minute walking tour. Here are a few of the artworks you might see on the Unhung Heroes Tour!

Greek Pottery Shard By Gail Worley
Photo by Gail

One of the first things Professor Lear will introduce you to are the aesthetic ideals of Greek culture and how they have affected the history of art without clothes.  In these ancient times, penis size as depicted in artworks was a reflection of a man’s social status. If a man was of high status, he will generally be depicted with a smaller penis, as a sign of refinement and class.

Dionysus and his Servant By Gail Worley
Photo by Gail

For example, this wine vessel depicts a scene of Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of wine, and one of his man-servants. You can see that Dionysus‘ junk is completely covered up, while his servant, though naked, has a very modest penis.

Ancient Greek Sculpture By Gail Worley

By contrast, this adjacent, carved figure of a reclining, overweight and quite unattractive man has his stuff all out on display, which was considered vulgar and low class.

Erect Satyr By Gail Worley
Photo By Gail

Dr. Lear really knows where to find all the fun examples of large members being associated with beasts as opposed to fine gentlemen. The above pottery shard shows a drunken Satyr (half goat and half man) with an obvious boner who is so wasted he doesn’t even notice that a donkey is walking over him. The word printed above him is his name, which translates to “Not Beautiful.” I love that story.

Masturbating Satyr By Kat Bentley

Here are three Satyrs masturbating. There is no way you would ever find this artwork if it was not pointed out to you. You’re welcome.

Other sexy facts about the ancient Greeks that you might enjoy knowing:

Greek men worked out constantly and they did so completely in the nude. The word Gymnasium literally means “Naked Place.”

While homoerotic practices are sometimes euphemistically referred to as ‘Greek Love,’ Professor Lear pointed out that the Greeks did not approve of anal sex, while the Romans did!

More Penises After the Jump!

Continue reading Discover Sexy Secrets of The Met On The Unhung Heroes Tour!

Chris Antemann’s Forbidden Fruit at The Museum of Arts and Design

Forbidden Fruit
All Photos By Gail

If the idea of bearing witness to dozens of tiny, semi-clad porcelain figurines that appear to be on the cusp of indulging in a bacchanalian orgy floats your boat, have I a got an art exhibit for you. Chris Antemann’s Forbidden Fruit — up now at the Museum of Arts and Design — celebrates the collaboration between the Oregon-based artist and Meissen, the renowned manufacturer of fine Porcelain.

Forbidden Fruit Detail
Detail from Above Photo

In 2011, Antemann was invited to participate in Meissen’s Art Studio Program, where she worked closely with Meissen’s master artisans to create unique pieces and a series of limited editions that strike a perfect balance between her distinctive style and Meissen’s identity. These pieces are arranged in Forbidden Fruit as a grand installation that reinvents and invigorates the great figurative tradition.

Forbidden Fruit Installation View

Inspired by eighteenth-century porcelain figurines and decorative art, Antemann’s delicate and intricately detailed sculptures are lavishly presented on a central banquet table alongside a selection of stand alone sculptures and a nine-light porcelain chandelier. Her centerpiece, Love Temple (2013), is inspired by Meissen’s great historical model of Johann Joachim Kändler’s monumental Love Temple (1750). Stripping the original design back to its basic forms,  added her own figures, ornamentation, and flowers to her five-foot work, as well as a special finial with three musicians to herald the arrival of guests to the banquet of “forbidden fruit” below.

Love Temple Detail

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit

Using the Garden of Eden as her metaphor, Antemann has created a contemporary interpretation of the eighteenth-century banqueting craze by inserting her scantily clad male and female figures.

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit

Posed in intimate and playful vignettes of seduction, Antemann’s figures convey narratives of domesticity, social etiquette, and taboos while making formal references to classic Baroque Meissen figurines. The ceramist invents a new narrative on contemporary morality in a setting that evokes the decadence of François Boucher and Jean-Antoine Watteau.

Forbidden Fruit

Chris Antemann’s Forbidden Fruit will be on Exhibit Through February 5, 2017 at the Museum of Arts and Design, Located at 2 Columbus circle (58th Street) in NYC.

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit Installation View

Geoffrey Dicker Publishes Outrageous First Novel, Journal of Grievances

Geoffrey Dicker Journal of Grievances
Image Courtesy of Geoffrey Dicker

Full Disclosure: If you are an avid fan of Worleygig.com, you are aware that Geoffrey Dicker is my BFF/Partner In Crime, and that we have experienced many, many crazyfun adventures together; most of which are documented with photographic evidence right on this very blog! So, you already know that Geoffrey is one rad dude whose devil-may-care attitude carries over into every facet of his ass-kick in his life. Good for him, I say! Good for everybody!

With that introduction, it is my pleasure to announce the publication of Journal of Grievances, Geoffrey’s latest book and first novel! Warning: this book is recommended for immature audiences only, as it is riddled with ridiculous amounts of adult language and thoroughly twisted situations. Journal of Grievances is a ‘raw and uncensored’ look into the controversial ups and downs (both in and out of the bedroom) of a struggling, single gay male writer living in New York City!

Told through daily journal entries in a year-long approach to turning The Big Four-Oh, the Journal’s protagonist spills his guts with hilarious observations as he waxes philosophically: analyzing his raunchy sex life, drug addictions, debauched relationships, life encounters, and his frustrations with society. With razor-sharp prosaic hooks and brutal honesty, our narrator navigates through relationship drama and job-loss as he struggles to find his place in the world. Or maybe not.

Geoffrey suggests that if you are easily offended by profanity or graphic depictions of gay sex, please do not buy this book. Alternately, he advises the reader to flip to any page and promises that within 2 sentences, he or she will be laughing. “I’d like to think of this book as a gay loner version of Sex and the City meets Curb Your Enthusiasm meets Catcher in the Rye — in other words, it’s completely fucked up!”  Journal of Grievances is an unconventional coming-of-age story with no filters and absolutely zero fucks given!  The supporting characters in the story remain nameless, because what matters is how their words and actions affect our anti-hero. “Despite the story containing generous helpings of extreme gay sex,” Dicker continues, “I think the anyone – straight or gay –  will be able to relate to the situations and moral dilemmas in which the main character often finds himself.”

“I’ve read so many books that never teach me anything new, make me think differently, or, at the very least, make me smile, Dicker continues. Journal of Grievances will bring each of these experiences to the reader, hopefully repeatedly. There are 11 months of daily journal entries, and one month’s entries made up of random ideas; including a short story told almost exclusively via use of the F-word.” Ant any rate, he promises, “You’ll never be the same again, after reading Journal of Grievances!”

Journal of Grievances is Released Today, September 20th, 2016, and is Available to Purchase From Amazon at This Link!

Yes, It Exists: Amazon River Dolphin Blowhole Sex

Amazon River Dolphin Blowhole Sex
All Photos By Gail

NYC’s very-fun-to-visit Museum of Sex has an entire gallery dedicated to a exhibit entitled The Sex Lives of Animals. It is, to say the least, quite enlightening. Aside from an informative kiosk on “Homosexual Necrophilia in Mallard Ducks” (I can’t believe I just typed that), one of the more bizarre exhibits represents an activity that Amazon River Dolphins apparently find time to enjoy, which is banging another Dolphin’s blowhole. You can’t make this stuff up. Let’s take a closer look.

Amazon River Dolphin Blowhole Sex

Oh look, here they are swimming gracefully along side each other when suddenly . . .

Amazon River Dolphin Blowhole Sex

The peen quite clearly goes into the blowhole! Convenient!

See it up close for yourself at the Museum of Sex, located at 233 Fifth Avenue, Corner of 27th Street, New York, NY 10016.

Yes, It Exists: God, I Don’t Even Know Your Name, The Novel

God, I Don’t Even Know Your Name
All Photos By Gail

Eva is a hot mess. When her promising art career in New York takes a plunge, she enters rehab and finds sobriety—but not peace of mind. She escapes to Europe and loses herself in one hook up after another using Bangly, the newest dating app. She meets a run-of-the-mill Finnish curator and thinks it’s love. Or is it just wanderlust?

God, I Don’t Even Know Your Name by Andrea McGinty is the third installment of New Lovers, a series of short erotic fiction published by Badlands Unlimited. Inspired by Maurice Girodias’ legendary Olympia Press, New Lovers features the raw and uncut writings of authors new to the erotic romance genre. Each story has its own unique take on relationships, intimacy, and sex, as well as the complexities that bedevil contemporary life and culture today.

Each novella in the New Lovers series is an independent story of about 12,000 – 18,000 words in length. God, I Don’t Even Know Your Name is a Eurotrip of epic sexual and artistic proportions with stunning locales, a myriad of men, and one undeniably resilient heroine.

The design of New Lovers pays homage to the classic covers of the books published by Olympia Press. The “soft-touch” lamination and embossed lettering on the front covers of the paperback editions make these novellas a precious edition to any library. Both paperback and ebook editions feature special color endpaper artworks by Paul Chan.

God, I Don’t Even Know Your Name

The Fifty Shades of Grey Review: Not Completely Horrible

Jamie and Dakota
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson Get Ready to Take a Bath in Fifty Shades of Grey

Confession: The Fifty Shades of Grey franchise is a pop culture phenomenon that has, to this juncture, been completely ignored/held in contempt by me, because I would rather kill myself than read poorly written accounts of blank-slate fictional characters having all kinds of ridiculous sex. Thanks, but I’ll pass.

But sometimes, curiosity gets the best of me when it comes to Bands/Books/TV Shows/Movies that are hyped up the ass, because I not only wonder what the big deal is, but want to know if I am missing something. So, when an invite to attend a free preview of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie came my way, I simply couldn’t refuse. Because 9 times out of 10, even the worst piece of shit movie is worth seeing for free. Just being serious.

Having not read the book then, but expecting to not even be able to sit through all 125 minutes of the film, I came away from the Fifty Shades cinematic experience with the opinion that this is probably the best Lifetime TV Movie ever made! I mean, once you make it past the excruciating first 20 or so minutes, it’s just really not that bad of a film. It’s not going to win any awards, but it will make shit ton of money. And you can’t imagine that the filmmakers were hoping for any more than that.

While there is certainly much to disdain, there are things I liked about this film. First off, I really loved Dakota Johnson’s portrayal of heroine Anastasia Steel. Johnson plays Anastasia as the perfect balance of curious innocent and would-be seductress, and she succeeded in visibly transforming the character from one end of the story to the other, despite its shallow arc. I think it’s largely thanks to Johnson’s acting ability that she and co-star Jamie Dornan (who didn’t impress me as much) were able to infuse some palpable heat into the “romance” part of the Anastasia/Christian storyline. Johnson also has excellent comedic timing and a terrific body. I look forward to seeing her in future film roles where she is working with a great script and is allowed to keep her clothes on for more than 50% of the film.

I enjoyed looking at Luke Grimes, the insanely hot actor who played Christian Grey’s brother, who ends up conveniently hooking up with Anastasia’s Roommate. Because: Real Life!

I loved all the sets, especially Christian Grey’s office, and the aerial panoramic shot of Seattle that opens the film. The film’s art direction is nearly impeccable.

If you’d like more details or plot analysis, I’m going to recommend that you read A.O. Scott’s review over at New York Times Dot Com, because it is a fun read and I can tell that Mr. Scott was in the same screening I attended based on hints he drops regarding the reaction of the preview audience during certain parts of the film. This is just my 2 cents, because nobody is paying me to write this.

Fifty Shades of Grey opens Nationwide this Friday, February 13th, 2015!

Grade: B-

Bacon Thing of The Day: Kermit the Frog Gets a Bit Randy

Kermit the Frgo Gets Randy

You Knew it was Coming.

Thanks to Geoffrey for the Tip!