Tag Archives: phallus

Street Art That Has Dicks In It

random dick street art photo by gail worley
Spot The Dick (All Photos By Gail)

While looking through my archives of street art photography, I noticed a few random photos that have dicks in them. This seemed funny to me, and I was ‘hard up’ (pun intended) for an idea, so I decided to make a post out of street art with dicks in it. I’ll add more pics of dicks to the post as time goes on. Because why not? There are more dicks out there waiting to be discovered; of this I am quite sure. I do not know the artist responsible for the banana-as-dick fetish-themed piece above (it might even be an ad), but when you’re feelin’ it, who gives a shit?

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Discover Sexy Secrets of The Met On The Unhung Heroes Tour!


Above Graphic and Most Photos By Kat Bentley, Except Where Noted

The Metropolitan Museum of Art has possibly the broadest collection of art in the world; spanning more than 5000 years of objects from across the globe — from the first cities of the ancient world to works being created today. In my 30 years of living in NYC, I’ve visited the museum maybe a hundred times, and I’ve barely even begun to explore its hundreds of galleries. While a dozen new exhibits open at The Met each season, offering no shortage of incentive to plan a visit, what can be really exciting is to discover the hidden works in the museum’s collection that you might otherwise walk right by and never notice. That’s one reason why I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to attend a press preview of a new Met tour called Unhung Heroes of the Metropolitan, offered by the popular Shady Ladies Tours. As you might infer by the cheeky name, Unhung Heroes explores male members in paintings and sculptures across the museum, and it is all kinds of crazy fun!

Penis Oil Vessel Photo By Gail Worley
You May Hear the Story Behind This Penis-Shaped Oil Vessel (Photo By Gail)

Penis Oil Vessel By Kat Bentley

Expertly guided by Professor Andrew Lear, the founder of Shady Ladies Tours, the Unhung Heroes tour explores the naughty side of classic artworks, and considers burning questions such as:

Are the members in these artworks true to life size?

Were men really smaller back then?

Why are many of the statues’ missing body parts?

Is there hidden phallic symbolism in your favorite painting?

For museum-goers who’ve lost sleep over these and other questions, this tour will school you beyond your wildest dreams. As a leading scholar on the history of sexuality, Andrew Lear is one of the foremost authorities on the erotic in Greek and Roman art. Beyond his historical knowledge, Professor Lear is completely hilarious and has tons of amazing stories that will keep you fully engaged, laughing and entertained over the 90-minute walking tour. Here are a few of the artworks you might see on the Unhung Heroes Tour!

Greek Pottery Shard By Gail Worley
Photo by Gail

One of the first things Professor Lear will introduce you to are the aesthetic ideals of Greek culture and how they have affected the history of art without clothes.  In these ancient times, penis size as depicted in artworks was a reflection of a man’s social status. If a man was of high status, he will generally be depicted with a smaller penis, as a sign of refinement and class.

Dionysus and his Servant By Gail Worley
Photo by Gail

For example, this wine vessel depicts a scene of Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of wine, and one of his man-servants. You can see that Dionysus‘ junk is completely covered up, while his servant, though naked, has a very modest penis.

Ancient Greek Sculpture By Gail Worley

By contrast, this adjacent, carved figure of a reclining, overweight and quite unattractive man has his stuff all out on display, which was considered vulgar and low class.

Erect Satyr By Gail Worley
Photo By Gail

Dr. Lear really knows where to find all the fun examples of large members being associated with beasts as opposed to fine gentlemen. The above pottery shard shows a drunken Satyr (half goat and half man) with an obvious boner who is so wasted he doesn’t even notice that a donkey is walking over him. The word printed above him is his name, which translates to “Not Beautiful.” I love that story.

Masturbating Satyr By Kat Bentley

Here are three Satyrs masturbating. There is no way you would ever find this artwork if it was not pointed out to you. You’re welcome.

Other sexy facts about the ancient Greeks that you might enjoy knowing:

Greek men worked out constantly and they did so completely in the nude. The word Gymnasium literally means “Naked Place.”

While homoerotic practices are sometimes euphemistically referred to as ‘Greek Love,’ Professor Lear pointed out that the Greeks did not approve of anal sex, while the Romans did!

More Penises After the Jump!

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Modern Art Monday Presents: Francis Picabia, Selfishness

Selfishness
Photo By Gail

In Francis Picabia’s Selfishness (1947-48), colorful rounds of saturated paint surround a large, crudely rendered phallic shape. This relatively simple composition is energized by heavily encrusted impasto and gestural paint-handling. Built-up ridges of oil paint score the surface, giving the work a dramatic, almost frenzied topography. This sense of substrate activity speaks to Picabia’s ongoing play with surfaces, which here takes the form of accumulation and opacity. The material thickening on display in Selfishness was an artistic strategy shared by others in postwar Paris. Participants in the turn to abstraction known as Art Informel also created works with heavily textured surfaces, and they, too valued direct expression. This work’s erotic imagery finds its echo in Picabia’s contemporaneous illustrated letters, which were an important element of his artistic practice.

Photographed in the Museum of Modern Art as Part of the Exhibit, Francis Picabia: Our Heads Are Round So Our Thoughts Can Change Direction.

Bruce Nauman, Neon Hangman Game

Hangman 1
All Photos By Gail

On a recent, beautiful sunny Sunday, Geoffrey and I took a day trip on the Hudson River line via Metro North to Beacon, New York — about 90 minutes outside the city — to visit the Dia: Beacon Art Museum. This is one of the most fun things you can do to escape from Manhattan on a weekend day and you don’t even need a car! The Beacon train station is a 10 minute walk to the museum and they have signs pointing the way, so it is completely idiot proof.

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Pink Thing of The Day: Pink Phallus Kiddie Ride

Pink Phallus Kiddie Ride Side View
Photo By Gail

Some of you with very good memories might recall that this photo — taken at André Saraiva’s Andrépolis exhibit at The Hole Gallery — was originally posted here back in the Summer of 2012, but had to be removed from the blog due to complaints by Google Ads, who thought it was endorsing some kind of Adult Toy. I don’t have Google Ads on this blog anymore, so I put it back up. Fuck those guys.