While looking through my archives of street art photography, I noticed a few random photos that have dicks in them. This seemed funny to me, and I was ‘hard up’ (pun intended) for an idea, so I decided to make a post out of street art with dicks in it. I’ll add more pics of dicks to the post as time goes on. Because why not? There are more dicks out there waiting to be discovered; of this I am quite sure. I do not know the artist responsible for the banana-as-dick fetish-themed piece above (it might even be an ad), but when you’re feelin’ it, who gives a shit?
I saw this fun piece in SoHo last summer, when Covid was still kind of a new thing and the George Floyd murder was making people (rightfully) lose their minds. Is it any wonder that such a volatile social climate spawned this bold message of “Racist(s) Can Suck My Dino Dick” emblazoned above a masked woman riding a, well, Blue Dinosaur-Dick-hybird? I think not.
Let’s zoom in for a closer look:
Ride ’em Cowgirl!
This piece is by Pure.Genius, whose murals are always topical, and lots of fun. And speaking of fun, please take a closer look at the outfit on the ‘rider’ and tell me you don’t think this lady is modeled after Walt Disney’sSnow White. Because of course she is.
Note The artist has since told me that yes, it is Snow White, and she is “Using her White Privilege to fight racism!”
I call this one Mr. Potato Dick. If you know who the artist is, please leave it in the comments!
More Dick Pics coming as soon as possible!
More Dicks below, spotted on 14th Street and 3rd Avenue on May 1st, 2021!
Above Graphic and Most Photos By Kat Bentley, Except Where Noted
The Metropolitan Museum of Art has possibly the broadest collection of art in the world; spanning more than 5000 years of objects from across the globe — from the first cities of the ancient world to works being created today. In my 30 years of living in NYC, I’ve visited the museum maybe a hundred times, and I’ve barely even begun to explore its hundreds of galleries. While a dozen new exhibits open at The Met each season, offering no shortage of incentive to plan a visit, what can be really exciting is to discover the hidden works in the museum’s collection that you might otherwise walk right by and never notice. That’s one reason why I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to attend a press preview of a new Met tour called Unhung Heroes of the Metropolitan, offered by the popular Shady Ladies Tours. As you might infer by the cheeky name, Unhung Heroes explores male members in paintings and sculptures across the museum, and it is all kinds of crazy fun!
You May Hear the Story Behind This Penis-Shaped Oil Vessel (Photo By Gail)
Expertly guided by Professor Andrew Lear, the founder of Shady Ladies Tours, the Unhung Heroes tour explores the naughty side of classic artworks, and considers burning questions such as:
Are the members in these artworks true to life size?
Were men really smaller back then?
Why are many of the statues’ missing body parts?
Is there hidden phallic symbolism in your favorite painting?
For museum-goers who’ve lost sleep over these and other questions, this tour will school you beyond your wildest dreams. As a leading scholar on the history of sexuality, Andrew Lear is one of the foremost authorities on the erotic in Greek and Roman art. Beyond his historical knowledge, Professor Lear is completely hilarious and has tons of amazing stories that will keep you fully engaged, laughing and entertained over the 90-minute walking tour. Here are a few of the artworks you might see on the Unhung Heroes Tour!
Photo by Gail
One of the first things Professor Lear will introduce you to are the aesthetic ideals of Greek culture and how they have affected the history of art without clothes. In these ancient times, penis size as depicted in artworks was a reflection of a man’s social status. If a man was of high status, he will generally be depicted with a smaller penis, as a sign of refinement and class.
Photo by Gail
For example, this wine vessel depicts a scene of Dionysus, the ancient Greek god of wine, and one of his man-servants. You can see that Dionysus‘ junk is completely covered up, while his servant, though naked, has a very modest penis.
By contrast, this adjacent, carved figure of a reclining, overweight and quite unattractive man has his stuff all out on display, which was considered vulgar and low class.
Photo By Gail
Dr. Lear really knows where to find all the fun examples of large members being associated with beasts as opposed to fine gentlemen. The above pottery shard shows a drunken Satyr (half goat and half man) with an obvious boner who is so wasted he doesn’t even notice that a donkey is walking over him. The word printed above him is his name, which translates to “Not Beautiful.” I love that story.
Here are three Satyrs masturbating. There is no way you would ever find this artwork if it was not pointed out to you. You’re welcome.
Other sexy facts about the ancient Greeks that you might enjoy knowing:
Greek men worked out constantly and they did so completely in the nude. The word Gymnasium literally means “Naked Place.”
While homoerotic practices are sometimes euphemistically referred to as ‘Greek Love,’ Professor Lear pointed out that the Greeks did not approve of anal sex, while the Romans did!
In Francis Picabia’s Selfishness (1947-48), colorful rounds of saturated paint surround a large, crudely rendered phallic shape. This relatively simple composition is energized by heavily encrusted impasto and gestural paint-handling. Built-up ridges of oil paint score the surface, giving the work a dramatic, almost frenzied topography. This sense of substrate activity speaks to Picabia’s ongoing play with surfaces, which here takes the form of accumulation and opacity. The material thickening on display in Selfishness was an artistic strategy shared by others in postwar Paris. Participants in the turn to abstraction known as Art Informel also created works with heavily textured surfaces, and they, too valued direct expression. This work’s erotic imagery finds its echo in Picabia’s contemporaneous illustrated letters, which were an important element of his artistic practice.
Photographed in the Museum of Modern Art as Part of the Exhibit, Francis Picabia: Our Heads Are Round So Our Thoughts Can Change Direction.
On a recent, beautiful sunny Sunday, Geoffrey and I took a day trip on the Hudson River line via Metro North to Beacon, New York — about 90 minutes outside the city — to visit the Dia: Beacon Art Museum. This is one of the most fun things you can do to escape from Manhattan on a weekend day and you don’t even need a car! The Beacon train station is a 10 minute walk to the museum and they have signs pointing the way, so it is completely idiot proof. You can even buy your museum admission at Grand Central Station in what they call the Dia: Beacon Package, which includes round trip train fare and museum entry for $36.50 — what a bargain! I will be featuring more photos from our trip to the Dia: Beacon in future posts, but today I want to show you this crazy kinetic neon sculpture by Bruce Nauman called Hanged Man.
Located in a lower level gallery dedicated exclusively the works by Bruce Nauman, Hanged Man (1985) is made up of a series of layered, multi-colored neon tubes that light up at sequenced intervals to simulate a game of Hang Man.
As the game nears completion, a second figure appears. You can see why this piece may be a bit controversial, or not safe for small kids who might has a lot of questions.
Some of you with very good memories might recall that this photo — taken at André Saraiva’s Andrépolis exhibit at The Hole Gallery — was originally posted here back in the Summer of 2012, but had to be removed from the blog due to complaints by Google Ads, who thought it was endorsing some kind of Adult Toy. I don’t have Google Ads on this blog anymore, so fuck those guys.
Japanese sculptor, painter, writer, installation artist and performance artist Yayoi Kusama is one of my favorite living artists, because she is just so darn rad. This week, Yayoi makes her Modern Art Monday debut. Welcome, talented lady!
In the early 1960s Kusama began to cover items such as ladders, shoes and chairs with white phallic protrusions made of stuffed sewn cloth. With their humorous, sexualized transformation of domestic objects beginning with furniture, but spreading eventually to clothing, shoes and even kitchen equipment, Kusama’sAccumulations represent a remarkably prescient example of contemporary art that wrestles with issues of gender. This aspect of the Accumulations shocked male contemporary art critics of the time who — too embarrassed to acknowledge their explicit expression of female rage at male domination — described them with anodyne art-speak phrases like “the semantics of mono-surfacing.”
Even today, a work like Accumulation No. 1 is much more disturbing to look at than the Infinity Net paintings with which it was often exhibited. Equally recognizable as a signature work by Kusama, Accumulation No. 1 is arguably more revolutionary in form and challenging in content than its painterly counterparts.
Accumulation No. 1, purchased by the Museum of Modern Art in 2012, is now part of its permanent collection. See this fun work in the museum’s fourth-floor Painting and Sculpture Galleries.
I think we can all agree that Miley Cyrus could throw the best, most phallic-inspired bachelorette party the world has ever seen.
The girl clearly knows how to party. The majority of her “makeover” since she started trying to shed her Disney image in 2008 has been based on over-the-top blowouts, crazy stage performances, scandalous outfits and tipsy nights out on the town. Combined together, all of these would make for one hell of a Henit.ie type of bachelorette party.
She’d obviously have no trouble bringing anything that resembled a penis, and I’m guessing she wouldn’t even have to visit a store. Throughout her Bangerz tour, some of Miley’s main props have included an anatomically correct sex doll and a 5-foot-long inflatable penis that she rides and rubs all over herself. And if her Twitter pictures are any indication, her collection of sex toys appears impressive. In that photo, it looks as if she’s holding an item called Belladonna’s Magic Hand, which Adam and Eve describes as being molded from the famous porn star’s hand with “life-like Sil-A-Gel material.” According to a reviewer here, it’s apparently also good for taking out intruders, which means Miley could be the muscle during your night on the town!
Some might think that she only acts like that while she’s on stage or in the public eye and wouldn’t be the same in person. Whether or not it’s an elaborate act to change her image, she’s obviously fully committed to and really enjoys playing the role no matter where she is. She’s even seen as the crazy party girl by others in the industry who would normally see right through such a publicity stunt.
A post on MTV from Jersey Shore star Snooki revealed that other celebrities don’t have much of a different perspective of her. When discussing what she would give out as Christmas presents last year, Snooki said, “I would get [Miley Cyrus] a lot of Christmas presents that involve vibrators and some sex toys and…really hot stripper outfits,” Snooks says in the clip. “Awww, she’s like a sexy guidette Christmas elf!”
Sexy Christmas elf or not, the girl has a flair for the phallus and partying. Made obvious by the birthday party she threw for ex-boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s 2012, she even already knows where to get a penis cake in my favorite flavor. TMZ snapped pictures of her taking a bite out of the red velvet cake with chocolate frosting.
She also doesn’t seem to be the girl that gets too drunk and ruins the party for everyone else. In fact, she’d probably make sure others didn’t either. Jennifer Lawrence recounted a story in an interview on Late Night with Seth Myers about the time that she and Miley were both at SOMEONE’S Oscars after-party. Lawrence had too much to drink and ended up puking off the front porch. She said, “I was in such bad condition, and I look behind me while I’m puking, and Miley Cyrus is there like, ‘Get it together.’ ”
All this being said, I wouldn’t trust her standing next to me on my wedding day. She would probably try to lick the bouquet or something. But I sure as hell would be confident putting her in charge of a pre-wedding party. She’d probably come up with something more talked about than the wedding, and I’m sure it would be so epic that I wouldn’t mind a bit.