Surely no one who has seen either season of VH1’s Rock Of Love will be too surprised to hear the news that Poison Front Man / Reality Show Whore Bret Michaels and his latest “True Love,” Ambre Lake have broken up. Shocking! My take on Rock Of Love is that it operates along the lines of these various wars (Vietnam, Iraq) our Government gets us into so that Oil Barons and Foreign Banks can augment their wealth: It’s not so much a battle that can be won as it is an effort that needs to be maintained so that people behind the scenes can stuff their pockets with cash. Brett Michaels is a washed-up, borderline retarded, wig-wearing ‘80s Rock Star /Botox Junkie. If he was really looking for a girlfriend he could find one in two seconds. But then VH1 would lose out on all those ratings, and I wouldn’t have anything to watch at 9:00 PM on Sunday nights. And that would just be sad. According to the link above, this upcoming season takes place in Brett’s natural habitat: a gross, skank-ridden tour bus! YAY! Let the rampant tits-flashing and BJ-giving begin!
Whitesnake’s Vocalist Does his Best Molly Shannon Impersonation on Here I Go Again With David Coverdale
I don’t know how may of you enjoyed the almost embarrassingly guilty pleasure of watching the past two seasons of VH1’s Rock of Love with Brett Michaels as much as I did. But if you’re already jonesing for Season 3, it’s kind of a bummer to know that, as of this juncture at least, Brett and his chosen “Rock of Love,” Ambre, appear to still be together. So, while the producers handle their negotiations with the next victim lucky bachelor (Tommy Lee, anyone?) Television Without Pity Dot Com has worked out this beyond hilarious list of Possible Replacements for Brett Michael’son VH1’s next installment of Rock Of Love. Wait ‘til you see what Andrew Ridgely looks like now…
I know there are many others out there besides me for whom the Super Bowl holds no interest whatsoever. What teams are even playing this year? Who gives a shit? Here’s what I’m doing today!
1. Making a huge vat of my delicious home made chili
2. Cleaning the Chick Tank
4. Editing Interview with Drummer Gene Hoglan
5. Transcribing Interview with Mary J Blige’s drummer, ‘Lil Rex
6. Reading an awesome book, “Love Is a Mix Tape” by Rob Sheffield
8. Watching “Rock of Love” on VH1
10. Talking on the phone