Tag Archive | Survivor

Survivor Birthday Cake!


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I love this Survivor-themed Birthday cake which I found over on the fabulous Cake Wrecks Blog. Survivor!

Evil Russell Loses Survivor! Yes!

Natali and Russell

Suck It, Russell

Ah, Christmas has come early this year. I cannot tell you how much sweet, sweet schadenfreude I felt watching Russell lose the $1 million dollar prize. To Natalie. A woman. That arrogant, misogynist, self- aggrandizing prick. I’m not normally a hateful person, but it was deeply satisfying to see how upset and disappointed he was. I really wanted him to cry. What a sore loser! If he’s on the next season, Heroes and Villains (or whatever they’re calling it) I hope he goes first.

Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part One

Bowl of Smiley Face Fried Potatos. I Would Eat Them.

I consider myself to be a happy person with a (mostly) positive attitude about life. But the truth is, when you write a blog, it is much funnier to complain and rag on shit constantly. And it is much, much easier to make hilarious, mean spirited jokes when you are talking about how much something sucks. But today I am having a really good day. Here is a Top Ten List of random stuff that has put me in a good mood just at this moment.

1. Having a “Good Hair Day.”
2. A girl in the office made cookies and she gave me one.
3. Great TV on tonight: Top Chef, Man Vs Food and Important Things with Demetri Martin – Woo hoo!
4. I had delicious street meat for lunch. Mmmm…street meat.
5. New season of Survivor debuts tomorrow!
6. Saturday is Valentines Day (aka Valloween) and I don’t even care that I have no boyfriend.
7. Sunday is my Birthday and Bigelf are playing at the Mercury Lounge!
8. Oh my god, this blog is so effing popular! (But I wish more people would leave comments *hint hint*).
9. Barack Obama is President.
10. It is a beautiful day and warm enough to be outside with a bare head – yay!

Tomorrow I will get back to looking for something worth ripping on.

World’s Biggest Tool

Too Stupid to Live

Jesus God, I can’t believe what a fucking IDIOT this guy is.

It’s A Girl for Angela from The Office!

Angela!

Here’s some mundane news about a fine actress from my other favorite TV show that isn’t Survivor. The Office’s Angela Kinsey Has a Baby Girl.

Top Ten Television Shows That Make Me Happy When I Watch Them

 

 Top Chef Rules

I Like To Watch

  1. Survivor
  2. The Office
  3. Top Chef
  4. Rock of Love 2
  5. American Dad
  6. Family Guy
  7. Metalocalypse
  8. Hell’s Kitchen
  9. The Daily Show
  10. The Colbert Report

Jonathan Says Good-Bye to Survivor Fans Vs Favorites

More JP!JP

Oh, Jonathan! How Could You Leave Us So Soon?

Wow, what a huge bummer and severe blow to the game on last night’s Survivor to lose Jonathan Penner – my personal favorite to win this season – due to a potentially life-threatening infection in his injured knee. Tracy and I both actually got a little misty as Jonathon reluctantly said a tearful goodbye to his tribe and boarded a Medic boat to be taken to the hospital for surgery. Motherfucker. Farewell JP! See you on the Reunion show in about 10 weeks!

Why Cirie is an Idiot who Deserves to be Voted off the Island Immediately

Challenging!

Pile-O-Survivors: Cirie is on the far left.

*SPOILER ALERT* Survivor fans who have not yet seen last night’s episode are advised to read this blog entry post-viewing.

Last night, before the snow started to come down really heavy, I made the two block journey over to Tracy’s for our weekly Survivor: Fans Vs Favorites viewing ritual. Because when you live in an apartment the size of large, furnished shoebox, a change of scenery is always welcome. We are only three episodes into the season but I think it is starting to get good. While Malakal, the Favorites Tribe (whom Tracy and I are both enthusiastically routing for over Airai, the Fans, who are totally lame) viciously kicked ass in the Reward Challenge, they did not fair so well when Immunity was “Up for Grabs” and earned their second trip to Tribal Council.

Now, I really love a Survivor player who gets into a serious, mind-fucking “head” game right away, but honestly the amount of post-Immunity Challenge bickering-slash-strategizing that went on amongst the Favorites started to give me a “god, please make them stop” kind of stomach ache. And although there may be more than a couple of brain dead doofuses on Malakal, the big idiot of the night turned out to be Cirie. Despite the fact that she proved herself to be one of the better strategic players on her original season, “Survivor Panama: Exile Island” – making it as far as the Final Four – this time around Cirie has lost her rational mind completely. Tracy and I agree that she’s also gotten kind of uppity, which puts me off right away.

Post Continues, After The Jump!

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Bye Bye, Gravedigger James!

“James, Voted Out At The Lasat Tribal Council and the 4th Member of Our Jury”

Well, wonders really do never cease. I’m not sure how to feel about the Tribal Council results of last night’s Survivor. Am I sad that favored-to-win James was voted out because he was too effing stupid to play one of the two personal Immunity Idols in his possession? Or am I happy that someone who was too stupid to play an Immunity Idol was voted out? Read Televison Without Pity’s recap after the jump.

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Random Thoughts on Last Night’s Survivor Debut

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

Well, Survivor China got off to a roaring start last night and it looks like this season is going to be another good one. I can already see at least a few potential arrogant drama queens ready to make this a very entertaining twelve weeks. First off there’s the Sunday School Teacher who refused to participate in the Buddhist ceremony at the beginning of the show because Jesus would disapprove. Then we have the Professional Poker Player with the huge beer gut (his name is Jean-Robert but I am henceforth calling him “Genre Bear,” because that is how I ‘heard’ his name the first time it was pronounced). And last but not least we can enjoy the spoiled brat antics of the Whiney Anorexia Case from NYC, whom I predict will be the first to go once her tribe loses an immunity challenge. Based on last night’s show, here’s some general observational commentary from the couch.

Skills to Acquire Before You go on Survivor

If I knew I was going to be, literally, stranded in the jungle/wilderness for 39 days with no modern conveniences, little if any food and a necessity to rely 100% on my own wits/ survival skills/ ability to tolerate pretty idiots and hopelessly annoying assholes, I would certainly make sure that I learned how to do the following things:

  1. MAKE FIRE
  2. Swim
  3. Fish
  4. Build a shelter of out materials available in the Island Jungle Wilderness

 

I have zero sympathy for anyone who hasn’t mastered the above skills before landing at camp.

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